Tonight I had one of the most real and intimate experiences with God in a group setting that I've had in a long time, and I usually hate using phrases like "real and intimate". God has blessed me with an amazing group of guys that allow me to participate in their small group that they have on wednesdays. After missing two weeks in a row I'm so thankful to be back, and thankful I didnt miss tonight. For a long time now I've been putting of choosing between my God and myself, and tonight he showed me that if I truly wish to choose him there will need to be some changes. In order to help me be accountible I'm gonna post them so that that way I can't exclude them from the list later.
1 My relationship with a friend needs to change. My interest has gone from one of close friendship, to one of a romantic desire, and if I intend to put God first I need to close that door now so that I'm not tempted later.
2 My recreational activities need to change. I've been struggling harder then ever it seems with sexual desire. Before pornagraphy was just a means to an end, and even though I needed to get it out of my life I allowed it to take root, especially when I was in a relationship with Sonya. Now that I've let it take root it seems that that desire is more then just mental, it's something deeper. I need to fill my life and time with God if I'm to have any chance of overcoming it.
3 I need to get of my computer, off my bike, and into the word. I am a major slacker when it comes to spending time with God. God needs to be my all, not just a thing I occasionaly look at out of guilt.
4 I need to let Christ shine through me. I've always been afraid of being one of those "religious people" but I need to worry less about how others view me and more about where I'm at with God
5 I need to live Christ. There's no way to make this simpler. I can't just help around the church and call my life good. My faith needs to go beyond me.
So those are the things God has demanded I change so far, and I will add them as he shows me more.
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1 comment:
Your honesty is praiseworthy and I am thrilled to see God working in you. I will continue to pray for you, my friend and brother.
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