I Got It, And In Spades.

Awhile ago I posted on how only true justice existed within God, and that my sense of justice needed to take a back seat to God's will and purpose. I once heard it put that when you ask God for patience he makes you wait. So I ended up in a situation where I was being mistreated, and I let my sense of justice guide me rather then God's will. Just as I was feeling at my wits end, with my stomach tied in knots, exhausted from all the stress; God showed me that I needed to stop seeking justice and seek him. I get the feeling things may work out right in the end, but I understand that regardless of what happens I am in second place, and I need to seek refuge in God. Not only has God spoken to me through this situation, but he has given me far more insight in areas of my life that need to change then I ever truly thought I wanted.

10 Days of Night

It's been almost 10 days since my last post, and I've been in the word maybe 4 of them. Life has seemed so busy lately, and yet when I think back on my day there is at least an hour every day spent doing something to relax. Wether it was watching a movie, watching tv, or just chatting with friends. My day is filled to the brim so to make time for the trivial I've pushed out God. How does this happen? Better yet, why? Why is the person who should be most important in my life the first to go when I want some time to just do what I want. Why do I make myself a priority, when in reality I should be nothing? I was asked Monday to name 1 thing that God has really placed on my heart lately, and the answer I came up with is that I'm not going anywhere. I know my bible. This stuff should be easy for me. God should be my priority. The truth is though spiritualy I havent progressed very far beyond where I was when I graduated highschool. Sure things have changed, but God is still doesnt have free reign in my life. Until Christ is my all I have failed as a Christian.

Counter Reset

Tonight I hit my reset button. Week one went well in terms of my commitments, but as usual I stumbled. I skipped a few days being in the word, then next thing I knew I was tripping over my self. While watching a movie the other night there was a very brief glimpse of nudity, and it was enough to set me off. Normally something like this doesnt trip me up, but this time it was. Next day I was just surfing the web with that movie in mind and before I knew it I was on a porn site again. So today I hit the reset button on my commitments and attempting to start afresh. I learned alot. The biggest thing I learned though was that I have alot of head knowledge about resisting temptation, but I fail as much as most casual Christians do.