The Secret War

I just finished watching Expelled, and am tempted to write a review. Overall the movie wasn't bad, but propaganda of any kind tends to grate my nerves a bit. So all that said, the movie dealt mainly with the idea of a culture war in which the establishment is somehow repressing religion in an almost conspiracy like way. My take on the situation is that people don't like God. Simple as that. The bible says he is the cornerstone the builder rejected. Why does there need to be a mass conspiracy for people not to accept God? I think we sometimes forget that to the world our beliefs are strange. The idea of the Hebrew God is something that even religious experts claim not to fully understand, so why would the world get it? Instead of fighting a war with legislation, videos, and all the nastiness that the world shows us why not fight back with Christ?

The Balancing Act

It's amazing the contrasts that the bible uses, and it seems like a good way to sum it up is balance that can only be achieved in God. Today I realized 2 aspects of this, and would like to hit them one at a time. Personal responsibility vs equality. These are two things that don't mesh well in our modern society, This almost Marxist view that everyone is equal in every way and deserves equal treatment combined with an almost capitalist view that your responsible for your own mistakes. It's strange really. I'm to care for the poor, even if they made themselves poor. I'm to care for the fatherless even though I'm not the man who ran out on the child. I was raised to believe that people were responsible to do right, and if they didn't then they should be made too. If a man bet everything on the stock market and lost it all it was his fault, and his job too make it back. If a father ran out on his child then he should be forced by society to take on the responsibility of father hood or be an outcast. If someone is poor, the work another job. I have this view that people are responsible for changing their own things, and when it fails, they are responsible for the failure. Yet I'm called to meet people at the same level that Christ met me. That means taking them as they are, forgiving everything, and continuing to forgive. Yet a part of me wants to see justice. After all if their to be held accountable then saying go and sin no more wont do it. Many times I forget how small and insignificant I am, and that it's God in control. That it's sin that makes us all equal in debt and God that holds us accountable. That we truly are all the same. Ryan uses the phrase Imago Dei, or image of God. We are all made in the image of God, and it's only in God that true equality, and true justice exist and are found. The answer isn't a political belief, or money, or anything we can do.... The only answer that truly makes a difference is God.

Holy Men Were Struck and Overwhelmed

These last two days have been crazy! Here that? C R A Z Y!

Here's a rundown of what started Thursday afternoon.

I was supposed to have Friday off, but on Thursday my boss asked if I could work a couple of hours as she had to take Robbie up to Stayton. "No problem", I thought. I decided to go with it and just wake up a little earlier to run my errands before work. Upon waking I started my day by skipping prayer and being in the word since I figured I'd make it up later in the day, My ex girlfriend sent me a message out of the blue, and I never got around to the scriptures.

So the score is

days in the word: 2 for 3

It should be 3 for 3, but I made the mistake of trying to fit God in my day, instead of fitting my day into my time with God.

There's so much in these last two days I could talk about, but its not what's on my heart right now. Truth is I've been pondering the idea of what a bond servant is again. I don't understand my natural reaction of abhorrence at being a slave to God. If I'm honest with myself then I really have no choice but to be a slave. My only choice lies in what I'm a slave too, sin or Christ.

Copyright Violation

I was reading through my last post and realized that all the areas I posted on are similar to ones that some other guys I know are struggling with. I promise I didn't steal them, they really are areas I need to work on. When people around me are honost about their struggles it encourages me to take a look at my own and often times I do better with my commitments in these situations. There are more areas that God has shown me I need to work on, but I'll post on those a little later. So far I have done well with my list, but then again it is just day one.

Spring Cleaning

Tonight I had one of the most real and intimate experiences with God in a group setting that I've had in a long time, and I usually hate using phrases like "real and intimate". God has blessed me with an amazing group of guys that allow me to participate in their small group that they have on wednesdays. After missing two weeks in a row I'm so thankful to be back, and thankful I didnt miss tonight. For a long time now I've been putting of choosing between my God and myself, and tonight he showed me that if I truly wish to choose him there will need to be some changes. In order to help me be accountible I'm gonna post them so that that way I can't exclude them from the list later.

1 My relationship with a friend needs to change. My interest has gone from one of close friendship, to one of a romantic desire, and if I intend to put God first I need to close that door now so that I'm not tempted later.

2 My recreational activities need to change. I've been struggling harder then ever it seems with sexual desire. Before pornagraphy was just a means to an end, and even though I needed to get it out of my life I allowed it to take root, especially when I was in a relationship with Sonya. Now that I've let it take root it seems that that desire is more then just mental, it's something deeper. I need to fill my life and time with God if I'm to have any chance of overcoming it.

3 I need to get of my computer, off my bike, and into the word. I am a major slacker when it comes to spending time with God. God needs to be my all, not just a thing I occasionaly look at out of guilt.

4 I need to let Christ shine through me. I've always been afraid of being one of those "religious people" but I need to worry less about how others view me and more about where I'm at with God

5 I need to live Christ. There's no way to make this simpler. I can't just help around the church and call my life good. My faith needs to go beyond me.

So those are the things God has demanded I change so far, and I will add them as he shows me more.

Five Foot Thick!

K this will be TMI, but hang with it. Just under the little toe on my right foot I have a thick callous. Sometime in high school I decided to start cutting it off when it formed, and its actually kinda fun. Anyway, tonight Ryan talked about having a calloused heart, and it hit home. I still stand by my convictions that money doesn't fix things, and that we can never cure the worlds ills. Yet as I write this I can't help but think of how calloused I am. Taking care of the poor isn't about fixing their economic situation, it's about showing Christs love. I've truly failed in this. I've always felt there is some point where enough is enough, if someone won't help themselves, then shouldn't we say hey enough, I love you, but you're on your own? After tonight I know that's not the case. My job isn't to make people responsible, just like it's not my job to fix their situation. If Christ met me where I was, then it's my duty as an ambassador to meet them where they are.

Rich, Creamy, and Smooth

Okay, I promised I would write about the good in my life, so here goes.

1. I have been blessed with great people in my life, from my friends and family, too my extended family at work. For a long time I've struggled with a feeling of not being accepted, and looking at my life lately I've come to realize that God has truly blessed me with some great relationships.

2. In a time where nightly news reports talk about potential mass lay offs in the future I can't help but be thankful. I understand that having a job isnt important to life, but God has given me one, and it's one I love.

3. Even if I'm not a concert pianist or a master carpenter I do have skills that make my day to day life more enjoyable. I love music, and can even play some. I love food and am a decent cook. I love riding and though I wont win a Tour de France I have my favorite stretches of road right outside my window.

4. Life is a thing to be thankful for. Even though heaven is better being alive means God still has a purpose for us, and thats alot to be thankful for.

5. God's love is an oft overused answer, but it's true. The reason it's something to be thankful for is that all love we recieve is underserved.