Black Hole Sun

I haven't been posting often, but then again I haven't been listening for God's voice as often as I should either. In fact my free time lately seems to be spent trying to get around doing the things I need to do. For example I woke up, moved my clean laundry from my floor to my bed, went and harvested a container of fennel from the ton of the stuff we grew this last summer, then proceeded to try and distract myself with TV, radio, and the Internet. My time is shifting more towards trying to have fun all the time. Which kinda brings me to whats been on my heart, and that's Ecclesiastes 1:9. "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun". With all the talk of our generation being perverse, of it pursuing the things of the flesh, as if we were somehow more guilty then our parents has been bouncing in my head. I think of the Romans, who would eat and drink to the point where they puked, just to turn around and gorge themselves again. I think of the American Industrialists like Rockefeller, who pursued wealth and power at all costs. I think of our parents and grandparents, who experimented with drugs and free sex in the Haight. I look at all this and have to ask myself, whats changed? The world was flooded, Sodom was destroyed, Christ came, and yet here we are. It's almost as if we seek refuge in the idea that the next group will be worse, and we must save them from what we did, only to turn and say how truly horrible they were. The reality is sin isn't new. Our generation shouldn't be defined by our shortcomings, nor should we try to overcome them with our popular causes, or saving the environment. What if we defined our generation not by trying to save the world either from themselves, or their sin, but rather defined ourselves as individuals (not a generation) seeking God. If we are truly seeking God, and in his will, then the world would crumble away and it would not matter, for God would be in control. It's time to stop hiding in the crowd of society, it's time to stop trying to change the direction of the herd, it's time to step forward, be accountable for yourself and say "I'm guilty, do what you will Lord."

He Is The Christ

I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago during a devotional, and they brought up the topic of the differences in our faiths. they proceeded to talk about how if the soul was eternal, then life, mawage, and family were therefore eternal also. They tried to tell me that that was the most glaring and major difference between us. Yet there is one thing above all else that should be considered when a Christian looks at other religions or faiths, and that simply rests on who Christ is too them. If they have the most biblical doctrine in the world, but Christ is not God, and didn't die for your sins then what good is doctrine? What good is it to have rules, prophets, powers, and beliefs, if there's nothing to overcome your sin? It reminds me of a question a Christian author had in his book. It said, "If Christ was not God would you still follow him?" The author was trying to point out how good Christs teachings were, and even answered his own question with a yes, because to him Christs teachings were so good, and therefore worthy to be followed. But what good is it to have Good teachings? As a Christian I need to figure out where my heart lies. Does it lie with good teachings? Or with the power of Christ our savior?

New Game, It's Called I Win

Wednesday we started on Revelations for our small group, and ended up discussing the broad perspective of the book before we get into the nitty gritty (dirt band). The bible is a pretty awesome book to do the book test on. The book test is where you read the first and last chapters of a book to determine if it's good enough to continue reading the whole thing. So starting at Genesis God creates everything, then he chooses the Abraham as the father of his chosen people to be set apart, and then it tells of the beginnings of their journey with God. In Revelation though we see God's end game. I like the way Adam said it on Wednesday. God is calling the plays now, he's saying no more, this is it, we're gonna settle things here and now. It's almost like this image of God where he's decided that enough is enough, and its time to separate the sheep from the goats, so that he can spend eternity with his followers. The simple description is it's God saying, "game over, I win!" So if you do the book test on the bible you get a God that creates everything in existence, and then in the end gathers his people to him. It shows how much in control God is, and how puny and insignificant we are. Here's a God that made everything, and should he choose has the power to destroy it.

Sansabelt Slacks

I'm not sure what slacks have to do with today's post, other then the word slacks. I'm a horrible slacker. Last week I wasn't in the word at all, and struggled all week with pornography. It really sucked. I felt distant from God and still do now. Luckily I have a great group of guys as friends who pray for, and encourage me. So far I have been in the word everyday this week, but it feels like little consolation in light of the last two. This struggle against my desires has left me feeling like the worst of sinners, and a poor Christian. I see my friends growing in their Christian walk, passionate about God, and certain of his direction in their lives, and I feel left behind.

I Got It, And In Spades.

Awhile ago I posted on how only true justice existed within God, and that my sense of justice needed to take a back seat to God's will and purpose. I once heard it put that when you ask God for patience he makes you wait. So I ended up in a situation where I was being mistreated, and I let my sense of justice guide me rather then God's will. Just as I was feeling at my wits end, with my stomach tied in knots, exhausted from all the stress; God showed me that I needed to stop seeking justice and seek him. I get the feeling things may work out right in the end, but I understand that regardless of what happens I am in second place, and I need to seek refuge in God. Not only has God spoken to me through this situation, but he has given me far more insight in areas of my life that need to change then I ever truly thought I wanted.

10 Days of Night

It's been almost 10 days since my last post, and I've been in the word maybe 4 of them. Life has seemed so busy lately, and yet when I think back on my day there is at least an hour every day spent doing something to relax. Wether it was watching a movie, watching tv, or just chatting with friends. My day is filled to the brim so to make time for the trivial I've pushed out God. How does this happen? Better yet, why? Why is the person who should be most important in my life the first to go when I want some time to just do what I want. Why do I make myself a priority, when in reality I should be nothing? I was asked Monday to name 1 thing that God has really placed on my heart lately, and the answer I came up with is that I'm not going anywhere. I know my bible. This stuff should be easy for me. God should be my priority. The truth is though spiritualy I havent progressed very far beyond where I was when I graduated highschool. Sure things have changed, but God is still doesnt have free reign in my life. Until Christ is my all I have failed as a Christian.

Counter Reset

Tonight I hit my reset button. Week one went well in terms of my commitments, but as usual I stumbled. I skipped a few days being in the word, then next thing I knew I was tripping over my self. While watching a movie the other night there was a very brief glimpse of nudity, and it was enough to set me off. Normally something like this doesnt trip me up, but this time it was. Next day I was just surfing the web with that movie in mind and before I knew it I was on a porn site again. So today I hit the reset button on my commitments and attempting to start afresh. I learned alot. The biggest thing I learned though was that I have alot of head knowledge about resisting temptation, but I fail as much as most casual Christians do.